It is almost impossible to define and describe my ego, let alone trying to tell anyone else how to control theirs. In the next series of blogs, I will address the issue of mind-control through a collection of snapshots that contain the moments of insights I have experienced in my lifetime.
Living with stress is not easy; it is even more difficult when the stress comes from within, from the unquiet moments of the past, sometimes all the way back into the womb. The pain is buried in the neural pathways of the brain just waiting to be fired by some trigger from within or without. In my case, with a generalized anxiety disorder, I can feel it in my chest every moment of the day. As Eckhart Toile says, it is a pain body that constantly seeks to be fed.
Anyone who has experienced pain has to learn to live with it one way or another. In the past, I had developed negative ways of dealing with it that just added to the pain body once the rush had subsided. Now, it is a call to the only thing that can neutralize the pain body, and that is to seek peace and quiet on the outside to quiet all the neural noise on the inside.
I learned the secret of peace by walking for hours in the deserts of Arizona. During my darkest days, I learned to walk in beauty, to see the beauty in everything.
A Moment of Solitude
Here, in this moment of quiet solitude,
The monsters of the mind stand revealed,
Merely false gods sent by my tired ego,
To destroy my will to resist and persist,
Urging me to engage in another act of insanity.
And yet – I sense –
Another spirit here – a spirit of friendliness –
That protects me by paralyzing me.
It settles down my spine, immobilizing me,
Keeping me here in this place of peace for a while,
Forcing me to stop and breathe and patiently wait,
Away from the pain of the burning, blinding sun,
Away from the harsh, hideous howls of reality.
Come my friend, the comforting Spirit of the desert.
Come, my sweet friend and hold me, and rock me to sleep,
To the whispery song of the gently shifting sands;
Come, my friend, come.
(If you think these thoughts and poems may help someone you know, please share.)