When seeking the virtue of truth, the most important piece of truth we can discover is that we have always done our best. Given the circumstances of our lives, given the fact that we have powerful sexual drives that demand to be heard, given the fact that we have to balance our desires with our relationships, we have to accept the fact that we did the best we could under the circumstances. There is no need for guilt, there is no need for shame.
I finally have reached this level of consciousness where I not only mouth the words, but I actually accept and believe that I am a good human being. One hot summer afternoon as I did my daily journey through the deserts of Arizona, I finally understood self forgiveness and its effect on self-love. I was finally free to leave my desert. There was no blame, no shame, no need for guilt. All just was. I was finally free to accept the whole and comforting meaning of forgiveness. I was free to forgive myself for all the mistakes I had made, for all the wrong I had done, for all the wrongs that had been done to me. I was free to return to the world of warm moist winds and rich green life.
Ode to the Tree
Forgiveness comes like an October snowfall,
That quietly settles, one flake at a time, on the dead grass,
Covering the barren ground with pure soft white crystals,
A cool white shroud on summer’s passionate past.
Feelings fall forgotten like frail dead leaves
Without purpose and life beneath the white;
They are discarded bits of vanity and vitality,
Having fulfilled their purpose on the tree of life.
Yet, I remain in my state of shock like the tree,
Stripped of its drive, purpose, and ability to grow,
Thrusting my life blood back down into my roots,
Away from the cold November winds that blow.
But I still live, and I still feel, and I can still dream.
I know that those discarded feelings beneath the pain,
In time shall break down and nurture growth, new life,
When the warm spring sun shines overhead again.
And those feelings like last years living leaves
Have contributed their substances to make me strong;
Their scars have become next year’s branching points,
New life made ready for a new season with a new song.