According to the study by Northwestern University that we looked at in a recent blog, three out of four bisexual men were primarily attracted to men when looking at sexually explicit material. So lets take a look at the three out of four when it applies to bisexuality.  The first conclusion is that these men are primarily gay and are sexually attracted to men; and yet, they choose to have relationships, usually primary relationships, with women.  The obvious question is ‘Why?’.  In attempting to answer that question, we come to the ‘heart’ of the matter for bisexuality.

In my opinion the major difference between bisexual and gay and straight men is in their souls. The soul is made of three components, ‘the gut’ which contains body-and genetic memories and drives, ‘the ego’ which contains the mind and sense of self-identity or self-concept, and ‘the heart’ which is our source of love, compassion and connection with others.  The bisexual soul appears to have an ego that may be viewed as a masculine side, a heart which can be viewed as a feminine side,and a gut which biologically leans to a feminine or masculine sexual preference.  The male side is one of striving for perfection and dominance and includes the desire to be respected, admired, and loved. This includes a drive to be seen as successful, powerful, and alpha-male-masculine.  The other side for both top and bottom bisexuals is typically feminine, which is sensitive and emotional with a desire to care for and nurture others. And. of course, there is the gut side with its rich source of passion and sexual expression.

When we look at the masculine side, bisexual men want it all.  They want the ego feeling of power and dominance. They want to feel attractive and in control.  They want to experience  a woman who submits to their advances and melts in their arms. But hey also want the heart sensations of exploring the sensitivity of their feminine side my sharing their souls with a woman; something that is very difficult in a sex-dominated relationship with a man.They want all the social blessing of being a man in society, the feeling of control and power from their masculine-ego side tempered with sensitivity and compassion from their feminine-heart side. They want to be a man is society, a husband in their marriage and a father in their family, but they also want love, pure, clean unconditional, intimate love, something they find very difficult to do in a man to man relationship.

Bisexuality is a unique way of seeing and feeling the realities of life. It is a gift that must be embraced. By embracing their masculine and feminine sides, and by setting free the sexual passion of their gut, bisexual men have an opportunity to understand life at a deeper level than heterosexuals will ever know. They can become spiritual giants through the magic of growing through opposites. By experiencing the pain of self-hate, rejection and abandonment, they can now use these experiences as a source of substantial growth and great joy. They may be able to perceive and understand things on multiple levels because they see complex situations from both sides. They can use these experiences to develop a tremendous drive to express powerful feelings and emotions. They can experience levels of compassion that can truly make a difference in the world around them.