Okay. That’s enough about the science of bisexuality for now. Back to reality. As stated previously, the first step in living happily and consciously with bisexuality is honesty, with yourself first and then with others. The first step in honesty is accepting the fact that we are biologically gay.
Maybe if I had had a normal loving childhood, I would have been able to accept myself and my gay orientation. During university, I would have emerged out of my conflicts with a healthy orientation as a gay man. But I could not accept my gay orientation, and I plunged into an sexual identity disorder with a sexual addiction. Understanding and accepting the gay part of my bisexuality has been a long and painful journey. During my young adult years and during my marriage, I denied my gay orientation even though I was attracted to men. Now that I have matured as a spiritual being, I have come to terms with the gay part of my sexual orientation and I have accepted it as a gift that enriches the duality of my soul.
To many bisexual men, exploring their gay side is like a teenage boy looking at dirty pictures in the privacy of his own room. They do not want anyone to know what they are doing in this ‘dirty’ side of their sexual lives. They seek anonymity in parks and bathrooms. These dirty pictures, this gay erotic expression of the body, has to be allowed to be expressed. Gay sex is very erotic; that is just the way it is. It is raw, sensuous and powerful. Bisexual men have to let their gay side out of its box so they can experience this power openly and honestly. They have to honour all the dirty little pictures.
Sexual identity is not about choosing between good and evil; it is about embracing life as it is, in the beauty of the moment, in the honesty of reality. Sexual orientation is a blessing, not a curse. It is simply a part of our biological and psychological make-up that allows us to experience the passionate side of life. Along with accepting our orientation, we are free to accept all the levels of pleasure that go with it openly and honestly.One has to accept and embrace the body’s sexual fantasies and desires. Each person is unique with their own set of experiences and genetic make-up and their own set of desires. There are no stereotypes, just sexual individuals trying to explore the pleasures of their sexual bodies. But conscious bisexual men should all have one thing in common; they should be free to enjoy the feelings of being with a man in their gay sexual experiences, free of shame and self-condemnation.
Embracing gay sex with all its sensuous details is like the climax of a journey towards bisexual consciousness. This is where we leave our ego and mind behind and enter into a state of sexually altered consciousness, a state of mindfulness where the world disappears and we live only in the sexual pleasures of the moment. These moments of sexual consciousness should be an expression of pleasure and self-love, not a guilt-ridden sexual romp in a remote bathroom..
Next week we will look at being honest with the heterosexual side of bisexuality.