Bisexuality and the Virtue of Kindness

SHIRT & TIE [small] (final)The dictionary defines kindness as the virtue of showing love and the qualities of having a sympathetic, affectionate, warmhearted, and considerate nature. Kindness is the second of the love virtues. Like all the virtues, it is a quality of one’s being, not just a matter of behavior.

Kindness comes from the heart. It flows from and is rooted in love. Like trust, kindness begins with the self; we can learn to be kind to ourselves. If we truly love ourselves, we will be sympathetic, patient, and forgiving, and stop blaming ourselves for our shortcomings and errors. We will be warmhearted, always believing and expecting the best for ourselves, planning daily to do something to bring pleasure to the body, mind, and soul. We will be considerate of ourselves realizing that trial and error is just living, and we will welcome the opportunity to learn from our mistakes and move on to greater awareness and consciousness.

The word kindness is related to the word kin, which originally meant the sharing of positive feelings with relatives. We learn kindness from our parents, grandparents, and other significant people during our developing years. When we receive kindness we experience a flow of love to and from another, thereby establishing a positive vibration with the other. This vibration is then stored in the heart of the soul and can be shared with others as a source of pleasure.

Kindness for the self leads to kindness to others. As the Delai Lama expressed, “When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace.[1]” This establishes a pattern whereby we receive pleasure through acts of kindness. We set up a chain reaction of love vibrations. Whenever we experience this vibration, we restore our own positive love energies. This creates a kind of attraction for others to come and experience the joy of living with us. As Mark Twain, a philosopher as well as a gifted writer, noted: “Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.[2]

Kindness opens the door to the other virtues. When we are in a positive state the beauty of the world seems closer and more intense. We feel a part of the flow of universal love. This love leads to consciousness and wisdom. Truly, “What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?[3]” Kindness, love and spiritual wisdom lead to the only true religion, the religion of spiritual experience. I agree with the Delai Lama:  “This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.[4]

Here are my five applications to bisexuality:

  1. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. Enjoy your bisexuality – it is a gift.
  2. Listen to your inner voice. It will lead you to sexual and other acts whereby you will experience love in all its forms. Your inner voice is the source of all the kindness you have within, because it is based on love for the self.
  3. Realize that sex is basically an act of love whereby we experience vibrations with others. It is a powerful drive that can be positive or negative. If you feel the positive vibrations – enjoy. If the feelings are negative – stop.
  4. Always show kindness to others including present and past lovers. Realize that they are just trying to live their lives as positively as they can. If they have negative vibrations related to sexuality, they should not be considered as sex partners but as people on the road of life. Be kind.
  5. Realize that sharing positive vibrations with others is the essence of life and love.

[1] The 14th Dalai Lama; (

[2] ~Mark Twain; (

[3] Jean-Jacques Rousseau; (

[4] Dalai Lama XIV; (



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