I Love You, I Hate You – Part 2

 Due to the high positive correlation between bisexuality and Borderline Personality Disorder, we are attempting to get a better understanding of the impairments listed in the DSM 5.

Impairment 12 – Significant impairments in interpersonal functioning b. Intimacy: Close relationships often viewed in extremes of idealization and devaluation.

 

My Sad Story

When I look at idealization, I can see that it was important for the women in my life to be perfect. I remember when my psychiatrist hit me with the bombshell that my mother might be partially to blame for my BPD and subsequent breakdown. I reacted with anger and disgust. How could he dare blame my mother, she was perfect. To read more: https://lawrencejwcooper.ca/i-love-you-i-hate-you-part-2/

I Love You, I Hate You

Due to the high positive correlation between bisexuality and Borderline Personality Disorder, we are attempting to get a better understanding of the impairments listed in the DSM 5. 

Impairment 12 – Significant impairments in interpersonal functioning b. Intimacy: Close relationships often viewed in extremes of idealization and devaluation;

Devaluation and idealization are defense mechanisms that the mind creates subconsciously to help it deal with overwhelming anxieties.  These two mechanisms as well as a combination of both are often associated with Borderline Personality Disorder. Idealization occurs when we view people or ideals (such as a higher power), as perfect and having qualities that we can acquire through association in order to survive. As bisexuals we tend to view our heterosexual persona as the ideal and we devalue our gay or lesbian self.  To read more: https://lawrencejwcooper.ca/i-love-you-i-hate-you/

Please Don’t Leave Me – Part 2

Due to the high positive correlation between bisexuality and Borderline Personality Disorder, we are attempting to get a better understanding of the impairments listed in the DSM 5. 

Impairment 11: Significant impairments in interpersonal functioning –  b. Intimacy: anxious preoccupation with real or imagined abandonment.

My Sad Story

I think we have been over this before, but perhaps we can look to a different example of fear of rejection and abandonment, heaven knows I have enough of them. Perhaps I can look at this from a different perspective. I did not seem to have any fear of abandonment with my mother, perhaps because I truly believed that I was on my own and could not expect any help or guidance from her. From the age of eight on, all my memories include a feeling of being alone in the world and that I had to take care of myself. To read more:https://lawrencejwcooper.ca/please-dont-leave-me-part-2/

Why Doesn’t Anyone Hear Me?

Due to the high positive correlation between bisexuality and Borderline Personality Disorder, we are attempting to get a better understanding of the impairments listed in the DSM 5. 

 

In conclusion, both distrust and neediness are calls for help. Even though distrust and anger are hard to live with, they are better characteristics than neediness. These people with BPD are still fighting it. It is the ones with excessive neediness that I am most concerned about. They are just one step away from hopelessness which is one step away form suicidal behavior.

To read more: https://lawrencejwcooper.ca/why-doesnt-anyone-hear-me/

She Love Me – She Loves Me Not

Due to the high positive correlation between bisexuality and Borderline Personality Disorder, we are attempting to get a better understanding of the impairments listed in the DSM 5. 

Impairment 9 – Significant impairments in interpersonal functioning – Intimacy: intense, unstable, and conflicted close relationships.

In a review of thirteen empirical studies, Agrawal et al (2009) found that every study concluded that there is a strong association between BPD and insecure, unresolved, preoccupied, and fearful attachments. These studies indicate that there is a longing for intimacy that is troubled by concerns about dependency and rejection. Barone (2010) using the Adult Attachment Interview with forty BPD patients and forty controls, discovered that the two strongest types of attachment problems were entangled/preoccupied (20%) and traumatic experiences (50%).

To read more: https://lawrencejwcooper.ca/she-love-me-she-loves-me-not/

Why We Attack the Ones We Love

Due to the high positive correlation between bisexuality and Borderline Personality Disorder, we are attempting to get a better understanding of the impairments listed in the DSM 5. 

DSM 5 Impairment 8 – Perceptions of others selectively biased toward negative attributes or vulnerabilities

If I see a roll of the eyes, or if someone contradicts, criticizes, or corrects me, I automatically sense rejection. Before this feeling of rejection takes control of my mind, I have a choice, I can still step back, take a deep breath, and take control of the situation, or I can let my emotions take control and take me to a place I do not want to go. Once I let go, my mind will take me down one of two paths.  I can blame myself and withdraw into a dissociate state with a sick feeling in my gut, or blame them and respond in anger. Unfortunately, I follow the path of least resistance. If this is a boss or a colleague at work and the emotional connection is fragile, I withdraw, but I deeply resent them for putting me in this state. However, if this is a loved one, someone with whom I have a solid relationship, I attack. Either way, I am now on a course for anxiety and symptoms of depression. To read more: https://lawrencejwcooper.ca/why-we-attack-the-ones-we-love/

My Lover’s Eyes – Part 2

 Due to the high positive correlation between bisexuality and Borderline Personality Disorder, we are attempting to get a better understanding of the impairments listed in the DSM 5. 

DSM  5: Impairment 7 – Interpersonal hypersensitivity (i.e., prone to feel slighted or insulted)

  After living for twelve years on my own after my divorce (except for a few misguided relationships), I finally met a woman that I could trust and love unconditionally. For the first few months, I was blissfully happy but then things started to fall apart. To read more go to: https://lawrencejwcooper.ca/my-lovers-eyes-part-2/

My Lover’s Eyes

       Due to the high positive correlation between bisexuality and Borderline Personality Disorder, we are attempting to get a better understanding of the impairments listed in the DSM 5. 

DSM  5: Impairment 7 – Interpersonal hypersensitivity (i.e., prone to feel slighted or insulted)

  Research seems to suggest that borderline personality disorder may be characterized by emotional hypersensitivity with increased stress levels, anger proneness, and hostile, impulsive behaviours. As a result we may tend to view facial expressions as being angry or threatening and respond with prolonged emotional (amygdala) feelings. Read more at: https://lawrencejwcooper.ca/my-lovers-eyes/

Why is She Mad at Me – Part 2

Due to the high positive correlation between bisexuality and Borderline Personality Disorder, we are attempting to get a better understanding of the impairments listed in the DSM 5. 

Today we  will look at Impairment 6 – Compromised ability to recognize the feelings and needs of others.

Why is She Mad at Me – Part 2

The fact that we have a difficult time recognizing the feelings and needs of others at the unconscious level simply means we will have to train ourselves to do it consciously. We train ourselves to watch for tone and body language and respond accordingly. To read more: https://lawrencejwcooper.ca/why-is-she-mad-at-me-part-2/

Why is She Mad at Me

Because we are so concerned with our own safety, we fail to see the feelings being expressed by others, especially those nearest to us, who have the potential to inflict the greatest emotional pain. We fail to meet their needs because we are obsessed with our own need to be accepted and loved.

Read more at: https://lawrencejwcooper.ca/why-is-she-mad-at-m/