Bisexuality and the Virtue of Thriving in Uncertainty

SHIRT & TIE [small] (final)Uncertainty cannot be a virtue, but the way we deal with it sure can. The feeling associated with uncertainty is based on fear, especially fear of change. We like things the way they are, even when they are filled with fear and turmoil. We resist change and build up defense mechanisms including religion, acquiring material goods and wealth, seeking knowledge, delving into the arts, and seeking experiences with beauty. “In short, we try to make meaning and order of what might otherwise seem a chaotic existence”. [1]

Our greatest fears are death and living a life without meaning and purpose. We set up belief systems to explain the inexplicable and to provide a comfortable degree of certainty where there is no certainty. We develop stories employing the old spiritual standbys of faith and hope. In the case of religion, we strive for group stories filled with justice, including rewards and punishment. These stories are always on the far end of rational thought, just close enough that they make sense with the application of faith and hope. Don’t get me wrong; I also operate on faith, and, if we are honest with ourselves, we all do to some extent. The key is to know and understand that they are just stories that may be based on fiction rather than truth.

The opposite of faith is pessimism. We see the uncertainties of the world around, imagine a worst case scenario, and then learn to live with it. Frankly, I would rather live by faith than pessimism, but I believe there is a third and better way.

“In quantum mechanics, the observation effect states that the photon used to locate and measure a particle actually changes the particle’s position. The observer actually changes the state of the object perceived.” Our thoughts are in truth a release of creative energy from the electromagnetic and chemical activity of our neural pathways. We can create a story that is in fact real and ever changing with the electronic and quantum power of our thoughts and beliefs. Applied to our response to uncertainty, we can, in fact, affect not just the perception, but reality itself. Once set in motion, our thoughts have the power to change and alter reality, provided that they are consistent, passionately powerful, and loaded with creative energy.

Let me explain through a story, a true story. When my wife was giving birth to our son, the doctor arrived and examined her, told us the baby was turned the wrong way, and it would be hours before it would be born. Meanwhile, he was going to go home and get some sleep. After he left, I placed my hands on my wife’s abdomen and asked god (this occurred during a time when I had traditional Christian beliefs) to turn the baby. At that precise moment, I felt the baby turn in my hands and immediately start down the birth canal. He was born half an hour later. The doctor had just enough time to come back and cut the cord. So what happened? Was this a random coincidence? Perhaps. Did god turn the baby? Perhaps. Did my mental energy turn the baby? Perhaps. Or perhaps it was my higher self connecting with a higher power that transferred the higher energy from my hands to her body thus turning the baby? I choose to believe the latter, but the answer to that question will depend upon our belief systems. The fact remains: the baby did turn, and I believe I was an agent in the process because I felt the power pass through my thoughts and hands.

This brings us back to the question of life and death. What is life all about? Are we just a random occurrence in the universe? Logic would say that we are. Logic would also say that the typical after-death experience of walking towards a bright light is just a final burst of energy from our dying brain. What about reincarnation which is the favorite belief my intellectual friends and associates, who perhaps have developed a rational system that goes very easy on an enlightened ego.  And what about regression? Are they a real recall of a past life or just a creation of the imagination of people who want to believe? Is there a god? And if there is, is he a personal god like the Christians believe, the all-powerful patriarch of the Muslims and Jews, or that universal esoteric presence sought after by the Buddhists and new age intellectuals? The answer to these questions is that there is no answer, all is uncertainty.

It is only by recognizing that life is full of uncertainties that we can then walk the path to self-actualization with creative thought and spiritual confidence. We embrace the only certainty that we have: I am; I breathe; I think; I understand; therefore, I am. The key is to truly know and understand, and yes, believe that this is enough. We embrace the uncertainty. We live each moment as if it were the last. We seek the truth and the joy that life presents to us every moment of every day. If there is another life after this, we know that it will be good. If we search our inner self we will realize that there is no evil; there is no hell. There is nothing to fear, not even death itself. If this life is all there is and the bright light gradually fades and disappears, we will have lived a life full of the creative power of love energy that will continue to shine as long as there is human life on this beautiful planet.

Because we believe life is precarious, and because we strive to fill it with our love energy, we will naturally embrace and help each other.  We will build real stories around family and fellowship, and we will call it love. The natural consequences of our feelings and actions will be the development of a sense of compassion for ourselves and for everyone else who fears the unknown. When we open ourselves to the continually changing nature of your own being, we embrace the reality set before us.  We enjoy our capacity to live a life free of fear. We increase our capacity to be, to enjoy, and to love. We care for other people. We begin to really live a life with endless opportunities to create and enjoy a better world.

My five applications for bisexuality:

  1. We are now beyond gender issues. In the world of uncertainty even our sexual orientation is uncertain. Whether we are attracted to males or females makes no difference. We are one human being connecting with another through the passion and sensuality of our bodies.
  2. We embrace our uncertainties as opportunities to experience something new, something that will lead to greater knowledge and deeper levels of experiencing and feeling.
  3. We realize that our expectations are just our attempts at finding certainty and usually lead to disappointment or to the realization that out strongest desires cannot be fulfilled,  So we reduce our expectations, set goal only on  essential matters, and open ourselves up to the possibility and excitement of change.
  4. We have no expectations of others. We just accept them the way they are at that moment, knowing that they too are searching for their own sense of self-actualization.
  5. We realize that self-actualization is not an end in itself but a process. We continue to explore, build, and feel until the last breath of this uncertain life. We have no expectation of an afterlife but we are open to all possibilities. There is nothing to fear. It may be only the last peaceful breath or the possibility of endless possibilities.

[1] All quotes in this blog are from Greenfield, Susan Celia. The Last Lecture: the Virtue of Uncertainty. (!)


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