I Love You, I Hate You – Part 2

 Due to the high positive correlation between bisexuality and Borderline Personality Disorder, we are attempting to get a better understanding of the impairments listed in the DSM 5.

Impairment 12 – Significant impairments in interpersonal functioning b. Intimacy: Close relationships often viewed in extremes of idealization and devaluation.

 

My Sad Story

When I look at idealization, I can see that it was important for the women in my life to be perfect. I remember when my psychiatrist hit me with the bombshell that my mother might be partially to blame for my BPD and subsequent breakdown. I reacted with anger and disgust. How could he dare blame my mother, she was perfect. To read more: https://lawrencejwcooper.ca/i-love-you-i-hate-you-part-2/

I Love You, I Hate You

Due to the high positive correlation between bisexuality and Borderline Personality Disorder, we are attempting to get a better understanding of the impairments listed in the DSM 5. 

Impairment 12 – Significant impairments in interpersonal functioning b. Intimacy: Close relationships often viewed in extremes of idealization and devaluation;

Devaluation and idealization are defense mechanisms that the mind creates subconsciously to help it deal with overwhelming anxieties.  These two mechanisms as well as a combination of both are often associated with Borderline Personality Disorder. Idealization occurs when we view people or ideals (such as a higher power), as perfect and having qualities that we can acquire through association in order to survive. As bisexuals we tend to view our heterosexual persona as the ideal and we devalue our gay or lesbian self.  To read more: https://lawrencejwcooper.ca/i-love-you-i-hate-you/

Please Don’t Leave Me – Part 2

Due to the high positive correlation between bisexuality and Borderline Personality Disorder, we are attempting to get a better understanding of the impairments listed in the DSM 5. 

Impairment 11: Significant impairments in interpersonal functioning –  b. Intimacy: anxious preoccupation with real or imagined abandonment.

My Sad Story

I think we have been over this before, but perhaps we can look to a different example of fear of rejection and abandonment, heaven knows I have enough of them. Perhaps I can look at this from a different perspective. I did not seem to have any fear of abandonment with my mother, perhaps because I truly believed that I was on my own and could not expect any help or guidance from her. From the age of eight on, all my memories include a feeling of being alone in the world and that I had to take care of myself. To read more:https://lawrencejwcooper.ca/please-dont-leave-me-part-2/

She Love Me – She Loves Me Not

Due to the high positive correlation between bisexuality and Borderline Personality Disorder, we are attempting to get a better understanding of the impairments listed in the DSM 5. 

Impairment 9 – Significant impairments in interpersonal functioning – Intimacy: intense, unstable, and conflicted close relationships.

In a review of thirteen empirical studies, Agrawal et al (2009) found that every study concluded that there is a strong association between BPD and insecure, unresolved, preoccupied, and fearful attachments. These studies indicate that there is a longing for intimacy that is troubled by concerns about dependency and rejection. Barone (2010) using the Adult Attachment Interview with forty BPD patients and forty controls, discovered that the two strongest types of attachment problems were entangled/preoccupied (20%) and traumatic experiences (50%).

To read more: https://lawrencejwcooper.ca/she-love-me-she-loves-me-not/

My Lover’s Eyes – Part 2

 Due to the high positive correlation between bisexuality and Borderline Personality Disorder, we are attempting to get a better understanding of the impairments listed in the DSM 5. 

DSM  5: Impairment 7 – Interpersonal hypersensitivity (i.e., prone to feel slighted or insulted)

  After living for twelve years on my own after my divorce (except for a few misguided relationships), I finally met a woman that I could trust and love unconditionally. For the first few months, I was blissfully happy but then things started to fall apart. To read more go to: https://lawrencejwcooper.ca/my-lovers-eyes-part-2/

Why is She Mad at Me – Part 2

Due to the high positive correlation between bisexuality and Borderline Personality Disorder, we are attempting to get a better understanding of the impairments listed in the DSM 5. 

Today we  will look at Impairment 6 – Compromised ability to recognize the feelings and needs of others.

Why is She Mad at Me – Part 2

The fact that we have a difficult time recognizing the feelings and needs of others at the unconscious level simply means we will have to train ourselves to do it consciously. We train ourselves to watch for tone and body language and respond accordingly. To read more: https://lawrencejwcooper.ca/why-is-she-mad-at-me-part-2/

Why is She Mad at Me

Because we are so concerned with our own safety, we fail to see the feelings being expressed by others, especially those nearest to us, who have the potential to inflict the greatest emotional pain. We fail to meet their needs because we are obsessed with our own need to be accepted and loved.

Read more at: https://lawrencejwcooper.ca/why-is-she-mad-at-m/

I Guess I’ll Be a Doctor – Part 2

My Sad Story

BPD Impairment 5 – Instability in goals, aspirations, values, or career plans

 

Up until the summer after my grade twelve graduation, I had planned to be a priest. Part of this was, of course, to please my mother who was convinced that I was special because I was the seventh son, and being special, of course, meant the highest calling, the priesthood. I also attended an all-boys Catholic high school where I was taught by priests (with the exception of my Physics teacher who was a lay person). About twice a year, Father Gocarths would come around and interview and counsel and encourage the boys who had hopes of becoming priests. Because of my near perfect grades he informed me that I would spend one year in a novitiate in Ottawa and then move on to studies in Rome. However, it was during my Grade Twelve year that I discovered women.

Read More at: https://lawrencejwcooper.ca/i-guess-ill-be-a-doctor-part-2/

I Guess I Will Be a Doctor

We move on to the second section on impaired personality functioning –  on the DSM 5 – Self-direction. The description is, “instability in goals, aspirations, values, or career plans”. We are really stuck on this one so we will just wing it. I have no experience with it as it is one of the few descriptors that I did not check off in my survey. I had a one, no problem. In addition, I could not find any research studies on the topic. Let’s take it one step at a time and hope it adds up to something that we can hang our hats on.

Read more: https://lawrencejwcooper.ca/i-guess-ill-be-a-doctor/

– Dissociative states under stress – Part 2

This is the part two on the fourth impairment for Borderline Personality Disorder as noted in the DSM5. As previously noted there is a strong correlation between bisexuality and BPD.

Another Sad Story

In January, right in the middle of my depression, my mother died. She was ninety-two. Somewhere along the way I had lost touch with her. Yes, I visited her once or twice a year, but we never hugged or kissed. When she died, I did not feel anything: no longing, no regret, no love. We were a very large, five-generation, French Catholic family. During my eulogy, tears erupted from all corners of the packed church. These moments require tears to wash away the pain of separation, the pain of lost opportunity to somehow fix something that had been broken. My voice broke, but I could not cry.

To read more:
https://lawrencejwcooper.ca/dissociative-states-under-stress-part-2/