Category: Bisexuality and Mindfulness

In Search of a Higher Self

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img_1394-1The key to living a happy and fulfilling life as a bisexual is to know your higher self. Our sexuality is really a combination of body and mind. The body is neutral; if just follows its biological urges.  The mind or ego does all the evaluation and judging and that is where the confusion and pain comes in.  The higher self is who we are beyond mind and body.  This part of our self has to be discovered and nurtured.  It is the key to living a life of peace and joy regardless of the circumstances of our lives.  This is where our bisexuality takes on a new meaning.  We really are two spirited, possessing a masculine and feminine spirit which have the potential to make us into someone special to ourselves and others. 

 

In Search of a Higher Self

My search continues, daily, moment by moment,

Seeking solutions to questions that are never asked,

Scanning the horizons of my world for enchantment,

Magic that will surpass the limits of time and mind.

 

But the answers are not in the magic of miracles,

Nor in the beauty that surrounds my world,

The answers lie within the minute particles

Of the essence of the energy of my inner soul.

 

Therein lies the substance of my inner self,

The higher portion of my sentient soul.

Herein lies the mystery of peace and contentment,

The fragments of being and thought that make me whole.

 

Herein is my higher self, complete with just a piece of me.

Herein is the mystical self that longs for connection

With all that is and all that will ever be.

Herein swims my essence in the glories of the eternal sea.  

 

A Bisexual Man’s New Year’s Resolutions

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New Year’s day. Time for New Year’s Resolutions.  Here are mine.  You can borrow them if you like.  I wish you the best year of your life.

 

 

  1. I will know myself – forget my weaknesses, know my strengths, and know my talents. I will be a curious conscious human being.
  2. I will Love myself. Unconditionally. Period. No ifs. No buts.  I will start every morning by looking myself in the mirror and saying “I love you”. I will not only say it but I will mean it and feel it.
  3. I will spend fifteen minutes a day meditating.  I will seek that place where I feel one with all things. My focus will not be on nothingness but on me and my place in this beautiful world in which I live. Throughout the rest of the day I will take time to smell the flowers, to hug the trees, and say hello to the eagles.
  4. I am the most important person in my world so I will take good care of myself. I will be responsible for supplying all my own needs.  I will not depend on anyone else to do what I alone can do.
  5. I will evaluate all my wants and make plans to obtain and achieve them.
  6. I will spend some quality time with myself. I will take time each day to focus my attention on me. I will ask myself what I would really like to do today and then do it.
  7. I will be honest with myself. I will cut through the crap that my ego wants to throw at me. No sad stories. No excuses for not being true to me. I am a beautiful, powerful human being. I will not just act it; I will live it.
  8. I will be honest with others. I will let them know my feelings and my desires, what I do and why I do a the things I do. I will not make excuses for my behavior. I will accept the responsibility for being me. I will explain my reasons for doing what I do and feeling what I feel. If those I love cannot live with the real me, then I must be prepared to let them go. I will live with the consequences of my actions and beliefs.
  9. I will come to grips with my sexuality, my gender and my orientation. I will understand that it is a part of me but not the whole me.
  10. I will control my sexuality and not let it control me. I will understand the intricacies of my gender and sexuality. It is my physical expression of my desires and my capacity to love. I will not fragment it by separating it from my need to love and be loved.

Bisexual Christmas

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img_1394-1Christmas is often a tough time for anyone experiencing social anxieties and that certainly includes us bisexuals. When scouring the net I came up with gift ideas for bi’s including sweatshirts, tee-shirts and pendants.  But that’s not the real gift, is it? I suppose we could look at the Christ story and look for some kind of rebirth, but I think most of us are happy with the life we have. The key is not to wish for anything new but to enjoy and celebrate the important things we have. So here is my wish list for Christmas.

  1. The present – just to live a life free of anxiety, to enjoy the present moment regardless of where it takes me.
  2. Family time – to enjoy my children and grandchildren now and throughout the new year and to celebrate the fact that they do indeed still love me in spite of all the concern I have caused them.
  3. Love – I am thankful for the solid relationship I have with my wife of two and a half years. She knows I am bi, she encourages me to talk about my past and present gay desires, and she gives me the freedom to explore both sides of my bisexual nature. Above all, I am so thankful that we can enjoy each other’s bodies, minds, and souls.
  4. This beautiful planet – I live on Vancouver Island and we are presently moving up-island to live on a bay along the coast where I can greet the morning sun as it rises over Bayne’s Sound. I am thankful for the pairs of eagles that fly overhead and the sea lions that bark all day. I am thankful for the paths that wind through the old growth forest where I can stop and hug a giant tree and know that I am part of an awesome network of living things.
  5. And me – I am thankful for me, my bisexual nature, my masculine straight side and my feminine gay side. I am thankful for all the experiences my bisexuality have caused and yet opened up for me – the beautiful, the bad and the ugly. Without them I would not be who I am and I am proud and happy to be me.

Moon Beams

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Bisexuality, or any sexuality for that matter, longs for the touch of intimacy. The purpose of sex is to lead us to love. Spent the evening at Cattle Point, reading, waiting for the moon to rise over the waters of the Pacific. Then my wife and I took a long moonlit stroll along the beach. Great soul food and wonderful moments of intimacy.

Moon Beams

It peeks cautiously above the island,
Then steps up into the clouds,
Shedding its golden beams through the mists.
A golden boardwalk stretches out across the water,
Beckoning us to come and join in the celebration of light.

The warm Pacific waters bring a welcome coolness
After the heat of the day.
The wet sand caresses our bare feet,
As we watch the gulls and geese play across the water
In the fading light of day.

Our hands touch and our lips meet
As the feelings of togetherness expand,
Forcing a surge of love through our bodies,
As we feel the power of the moment
Joining us in eternal ecstasy.

Oh this is life, full life, powerful life, passionate life,
Filling, expanding, ever expanding,
From the power of one,
Into the power of two,
Into the power of everything that lives and breathes.
Yes this is life the way it was meant to be lived
In the fullness of togetherness.

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Sweet Music

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SHIRT & TIE [small] (final)Bisexuality should not lead to despair; it should be a source of great joy, an opportunity to live two lives and enjoy them. Facebook asks, “Whats on your mind?” Nothing. There is nothing on my mind. Just the sounds of my favorite CD. It is early morning, 5:30 AM, and I am filled with the joy of the moment, the joy of being alive.

 

Sweet Music

Sweet music,
The gentle plucking of the harp stings,
The mystical sadness of the flute,
And a harmony so soft, so sweet,
That settles into the far reaches of my mind,
Soothing, opening up the land of dreams,
The soul’s hope of eternity.

And a smile innocently appears,
And all the cares of yesterday disappear
With the rhythm of the stings,
And all the joys of today erupt
With the warm soft tones of the flute.

And I am reminded that eternity begins now,
And life is just what it is,
An endless string of moments,
A daily opportunity to be one with myself,
And with the rhythm of the ages.