As Bisexuals we spend way to much time labeling ourselves and trying to forge a scientific and sociological explanation for our sexual preferences. What really matters is how we perceive ourselves, and how we navigate these turbulent waters that we call life. The key is to find peace and contentment with who we are and what we do.
As we have discovered in the research, there is a high correlation between bisexuality and Borderline Personality Disorder, but that too is just another label. The long journey through the pathological impairments and traits on DSM5 has made it abundantly clear that most of us tend to have some serious mental issues. However, we will never overcome these issues by continuing to focus on our pathological traits and impairments. Neither will we find peace and contentment by focusing on our sexual preferences. They are what they are. We need to move onto building a better life through mental wellness so that we can then strive for what we all long for – loving relationships.
Therefore I wish to take you on the next stage of our journey to go beyond the limits of our sexual preferences and our pathological traits. We will strive for mental wellness and then go beyond that to building a life that we would truly love to live filled with inner peace and joy along with a strong and healthy sex life.
To do this we will look at the virtues. We will begin our journey to mental wellness with the grounding virtues. Grounding is a spiritual term defining a process whereby we can become balanced and stable in our physical and emotional states. To read more:
Mental Wellness and the Grounding Virtues
Virtue, by definition, is behavior showing high moral standards, but who is to decide what high moral behavior is? I choose to look at virtue as a collection of characteristics that indicate a higher level of physical and spiritual well being.
It is time to step back and take a look at where we have come from in understanding virtuous living. In the first set of five talks we looked at how we can become grounded. The first step is to become aware of our higher self, the interactions of our higher self with our ego self, the interaction we have with life and the Source of Life, and our associations with the ones we love. This led to seeking Truth, or the virtue of Honesty. This path took us to the virtue of Discernment where we learned to deal with our wounded ego and the wounded egos of others. We then looked at Acceptance of ourselves including our orientation and the circumstances of our past and present lives. Our virtues of discernment and acceptance took us to Forgiveness where we come to the realization that there is no fault and no guilt. We were able to forgive ourselves for the wrongs we had done and forgive others for the things they have done to us. With this foundation in place we can begin to live a virtuous life.
This took us to the second set of five virtues that we can label as centering. Gratitude is where we were thankful for the people in our lives and the things they have been a part of that have led us to a higher level of consciousness. We can allow our higher self to enter into a spiritual existence where we can free ourselves from anxiety and begin to accept and appreciate the circumstances of our lives. This provides us with an inner peace that we can refer to as Contentment. The third is Appreciation. We can be thankful for what others have done for us but Appreciation comes from within. We see the world and its beauty and we see ourselves as part of this internal and external beauty. The fourth is Fortitude. We become strong inside and out and we begin to see ourselves as infinite powerful human beings. With this inner strength in place we can now be genuinely Assertive and stand up for ourselves and the things we believe.
This is the beginning of living a virtuous life. We know who we are and what we believe. In other words we are grounded and centered. We have inner strength to live according to those beliefs and we have the power to express those beliefs as needed. This will take us to the third and last set of virtues in the next five blogs that we can refer to as the Love Virtues.
Here are my five thoughts on how these ten virtues applies to bisexuality:
- We must never forget that we are powerful beautiful human beings that are capable of generating powerful energy vibrations that can change the way we live and lead us to the person we want to be.
- We can appreciate our bisexuality as a gift that allows us to experience life though the divine masculine and divine feminine. We are blessed.
- We can strive to know, understand, and always be true to ourselves. We do not have to defend ourselves as bisexuals. We are what we are, no guilt, no shame. We have inner strength that we have not even begun to touch.
- We can develop the skills necessary to be assertive and still be compassionate with the ones we love.
- We can choose to help others by placing ourselves in positions to be noticed and heard. We do not have to seek out anyone to preach our beliefs; we just have to be ready with an answer when asked. If we are living a virtuous life we will be noticed and people will ask.