Category: Beyond Gender

The Ego and Mental Health and Wellness

Published on by Bi-Ed: Bisexual EducationLeave a comment

2016-03-26_0931Looking back at that day when I danced around my big living room in agony, the day my wife decided to leave, I recognized that there had then been something deep inside me that had said it was still not ready to give up and die. In an aha moment, I realized that I had an inner voice, a source of self still yet untapped. I decided to take another look at my forgotten soul. As I examined my knowledge of neurology, psychology, and my religious beliefs, I found it difficult to know where the tortured mind (ego) ended and the soul began. I decided to look into my soul, not with the closed dogmatic eyes of religion, or the strictly rational side of the human mind, but with an open-minded view, a carte blanche.

To heal and understand the ego, we have to first understand the soul. I believe the soul is like a mystical trinity; there is one soul, but there are three sides to it: the part of the body and brain that is sometimes referred to as the gut, the ego or the mind that is sometimes referred to as the self, and the inner soul which is often referred to as the heart. The gut appears to contain genetic memories, body memories, gender identities, and the basic functions of the brain including drives and emotions. In a healthy bisexual soul, these drives are based on surviving, thriving, and the pursuit of pleasure. In a healthy bisexual soul, the gut is safe and comfortable and at peace with its sexuality; however, in an unhealthy bisexual soul, the issues begin with the ego which interferes with the desires of the gut. In an unhealthy bisexual soul the ego fights with the gut because it believes its sexuality is a source of pain that has to be avoided at all costs.

To heal a wounded ego, we have to realize that it is not our enemy; it is actually a part of our persona and therefore a part of the soul. It is the part most vulnerable to the stresses of life.  Its role is to filter out harmful events and issues and help us remain in a state of homeostasis.  It is like a soldier on the front line that has to be monitored and supported for us to be healthy human beings. That is the role of the inner Self or what we can refer to as the heart (more on this in a future blog).

There are varying views on the ego. In some spiritual circles, it appears to be the “bad boy” of the family that works in opposition to the soul. I prefer to take a broader view; I view the ego as an essential part of the soul itself. The ego is our sense of identity, our sense of self, the rational decision-making center or our being. It is there to keep the soul grounded in the day to day realities of life.  A healthy ego uses the brain to solve problems as they arise.The ego constantly seeks that point of homeostasis where security is assured and it can pursue a path which leads to knowledge and a greater degree of purpose, contentment, and happiness.  In the process, it develops complex sets of neural pathways made up of memories and emotions that become sets of beliefs. The ego then combines these beliefs to form schema which we can refer to as attitudes and ego-based values. Beliefs, attitudes, and values manifest themselves as thought and behavior patterns which the ego then uses to deal with present situations similar to past experiences. It uses all this information to set goals to take us to self-actualization where we can function and thrive in the real world as independent human beings.  In this process, we become powerful adults who can make decisions that lead to more success and pleasure and less failure and pain.

These beliefs, attitudes, and values shape all our cognitive-social patterns. We are social creatures; we need the support of the group, and in the case of our sexuality we need to form positive, loving relationships. The ego seeks out relationships that bring positive feelings of pleasure and connection. Negative encounters, however, build a powerful body of painful memories and constructs that we can refer to as the pain body. When the decision making process of the ego is based on the pain body, it can become a vicious circle that can lead to destructive thought and behavior patterns in relationships. The key to mental health then is to assist the ego in dissolving the negative neural relationship connections in the pain body and reconnect them to positive feelings and emotions from the heart.  The ego cannot do that alone because it gets stuck in its cycle of negative thought patterns and uses the same old schema to solve the same old problems.  That’s where the heart has to step in and help build new thought patterns connected to feelings of love and appreciation instead of the old ones of hopelessness and worthlessness (to be covered in the next series of blogs).

 

 

Bisexuality – Emotions and Mental Health

Published on by Bi-Ed: Bisexual EducationLeave a comment

2016-03-26_0931For people with mental disorders, and for us bisexuals who struggle with our bisexuality, most problems can be traced back to the emotions. Emotions are good things.  They protect us and urge us on to seek satisfaction and pleasure. However, the ego tags emotions to memories involving unresolved issues.  We need to take back our emotions and use them to protect and enhance the inner Self.

Emotions involve powerful, neural pathways including sensations, feelings, memories, and body hormones.  They are also associated with the broader concept of sexual attraction or arousal.  If it involves memories, arousal then becomes infatuation or perhaps love. Sexual attraction creates a dopamine drive system activating the pleasure center of the brain.  If these perceptions and memories appear to be harmful, the control center (ego) of the frontal cortex goes to work to resolve the problem. When the problems cannot be resolved, they are often repressed but the sympathetic system remains active. The key in controlling these responses is to bring our emotions to the conscious level.

To do that, we can once again use the power of visualization which allows us to dig deeply into matters of the body and soul connection, and the emotional factors that guide and govern our individuality, our belief systems, our spiritual sense of who we are, and our ability to connect to ourselves and others. We need to activate the passion center of our physical/mental being, the center of all those emotions, and use them to experience contentment and love, first for ourselves, and then in our connection to others.

Again, to maintain a healthy emotional center, we can use visualization to restore our drive and pleasure centers to health and wellness.  If there is a struggle to restore we call upon the emotions to lead us to the source of pain. We can again employ visualization to trace the neural pathway until we sense body tension and anxiety.  We then ask the body to reveal the events causing the tension.  Then we allow the emotion to burst out and do the work it is intended to do.  If it is anger, we direct the anger away from the self and towards the person or cause of the pain while giving our self permission to defend itself.  If it is fear, we face it and walk through it to the other side, dealing with it within the safety of the wisdom and power of the conscious Self. If it is sadness, we allow the tears to flow until there are no more tears.   The final step is to touch the emotions, gently, thanking them for their diligence in protecting the Self.  By doing this we connect these emotions to the positive vibrations of Self-acceptance and thankfulness. Once in a conscious state we can decide whether or not we need to take steps to address the issues behind the emotions, or to simply thank the universe for allowing us to grow as spiritual beings by the influence of these people and events.

Another visualization practice is to view the body/soul as the aura.  By being aware of aura colors we become aware of the mood or emotions we are experiencing at that time, and their positive or negative influence on our well being. We can change the dull, or over-expanded aura to a healthy, clear, brilliant, and compact shape and color. By doing this we take negative emotions and transform them to positive ones. The key is to recognize the color, look for negative signs like over expansion and dullness and then restore it to power and clarity.  If there is difficulty restoring the aura, one can again ask the body to reveal the cause of the problem and then follow the same procedure of using the emotion signified by the color to restore the neural pathways. Is this real? Perhaps.  Many wonderful people, including my wife, claim to be able to see and read auras. Even if you do not believe in them, they can still be used as a visualization strategy where you recreate your own emotional reality. Again, it gives your body and soul a chance to talk to you and let you know what needs have to be addressed.

The key in these visual strategies is to not get caught up with words, excuses and lies, but to allow the body to speak its truth through images and feelings.  You will know when you have put these emotions and events to rest because you will see a healthy image in your mind’s eye or feel a sense of peace or power whenever these memories are reactivated in your mind.

 

 

Consciousness and Mental Health

Published on by Bi-Ed: Bisexual EducationLeave a comment

cropped-logo_2.pngThis is the second in a series of blogs that attempt to combine  good spiritual practices with sound psychological foundations.  Last week we looked at how to enter into a state of mindfulness and awareness.  This is  a kind of meditation that allows us to engage the parasympathetic system and restore brain and body chemistry. Through relaxation we clear out hormonal chemicals like adrenaline and norepinephrine as well as restore moderate levels of salt, sugar and cholesterol, all resulting in lower blood pressure and reducing wear and tear on the body and the mind.  All good things, but meditation can be used for so much more.   Many people, including me, have tried meditation and have been frustrated in trying to be still and empty the mind.  I have discovered that the key is to fill it, not empty it, and we fill it my being aware of the Self. As we become aware of the Self we automatically enter the state of consciousness and once in the state of consciousness we can begin a mindful healing of the body, mind, and soul.

In a previous blog, “May the Force be with You”, we looked at The Energy Healing Experiments by Gary Schwartz[1] .  According to Schwartz, our bodies have measurable forms of energy that generate electromagnetic energy waves. There are waves which seem to emanate from the whole body, perhaps through the water molecules in our living cells [2]. We can refer to them as soul energy, which is often equated with the aura.  In addition, various organs or systems generate specific waves.  For example brain waves can be picked up on an EEG; whereas, heart waves (five times more powerful) are displayed on EKG’s. Schwartz goes on to show through the rigors of scientific experimentation that intent during consciousness can focus these energies to change the behavior of animals, growth in plants, and even affect the well-being of microorganisms in test tubes. In addition, researchers at the Medical Center of Harvard University have recognized the use of mindfulness and consciousness as sources of energy that accelerate healing in post operation patients.

So what does this have to do with consciousness and healing? Everything. Consciousness can be employed as a tool to focus the energies of the brain, body, and soul to bring about healing to specific areas of the body. So how do we do this?  We simply employ a process called visualization. Visualization is more than just use of imagery and fantasy.  It is a process whereby we allow the conscious mind to create its own reality bypassing the reality and anxieties created by the ego-mind. In so doing, we can employ all the energies of the body, mind, and soul to focus on building a new healthy reality.

Our first focus to restoring mental health, especially as bisexuals, has to begin with our bodies.  We must learn to accept and even cherish our bodies in order to restore this flow of energy. First we need to understand that body wellness is intrinsically connected to the brain. As we focus on healing the body we must also focus on healing or restructuring the neural pathways of the brain that are affected by the stress brought on by the anxieties created by the ego-mind. We often form guilt, shame, and body-loathing neural patterns because of our bisexual and bigender struggles which often block the healing energies from entering the body. By reversing negative energy to positive energy we begin to build instead of destroy the body and the brain

An excellent visualization practice is to view the body as a set of seven energy centers that Hindus and Buddhists refer to as chakras . I do not specifically believe these chakras actually exist in physical/energy form, but they may have their own reality through the creation of the spirit-filled, conscious mind. We can actually create and visualize them and then ask them to give us information they contain about the body.  In other words we are giving our body a voice by which it can communicate with the conscious mind. Each chakra is connected to various body, mind and soul functions.  This provides an excellent inventory of areas to check daily for health and wellness during meditation.

Once we have settled into a mindful, conscious state, we check the primary chakra. It is our spirit’s connection to “real life”, located between the hips, in the space above the genitals.  Its purpose is to help the body maintain the primal drives of survival and reproduction  This is the basic spiritual life-force; it keeps us breathing and wishing for one more day of life.  During meditation we simply visualize the Prime Chakra and check for health signs such a brilliance, compactness, and whether it is centered in the body. We can then focus the energies of our conscious mind on the prime chakra until it is restored to a round, compact, brilliant blood-red ball centred in the middle of our being.

If there is a struggle to heal we can ask it to speak to us and reveal the physical and mental areas that need to be addressed, and then sit back and wait for a response, not in words, but in images.  This frequently results in awareness of a physical area that needs to be addressed along with a connection to the neural pathways of the brain. As we visually trace the neural pathway, this usually results in a series of images including events that have made us feel worthless or have dampened our love of life.  We then focus all our energy on these events until we can feel the tension leave our body.  We then refocus on the vital signs of the prime chakra until it is fully restored. We can then use the full energies of the restored prime chakra to focus on the body parts that have been affected while we visualize the healing process.  We then can visualize a restored neural pathway, pruning the connection to pain and negative emotions, and reattaching these memories to positive loving emotions. We can follow this process daily until our bodies are strong and restored to health.

Once we have a healthy mind-set the body is free to use its immune system during the rest of the day to restore the body to complete health.  We can then undertake a good diet and exercise program to help our bodies maintain this health, and of course be diligent in checking daily for negative mental activities that can affect our bodies.

In the next blog we will begin the restructuring of the ego-mind, which of course is the path to mental as well as physical health. The strategies I will introduce in the next series of blogs are all based on imagery and visualization. They are spiritual strategies, but they are also just sound psychological practices.

 

Kundalini – Ode to the Old Oak Tree

You are like the oak, a living taproot, burrowing down into the bowels of the Earth,         Still sucking moisture from the deep, dark dirt when others dry up and drift away.           You refuse to quit when life’s powerful storms persistently belittle your worth,                 You are the burning bush; your red glow flows into my soul, lighting my way.

You maintain your dignity when all others bow their branches to the gods at play.           Your roots are planted in solid ground; they will not run nor buckle nor show                     Any sign of weakness, any indication that we must succumb to this hellish day.             Your roots spread confidently into the rocky soil, demanding your space to grow.

You acknowledge no surrender to the shadows who think they know.                                   Your arms stretch out in defiance; they will not pause, hesitate nor bend;                          You will not bow to those who come to spread their empty words of woe.                             You will fight this battle for me, my Kundalini, to life’s sweet but bitter end.

We are in this together, you and I, through all that comes you will sustain me,           Holding my head, guarding my back, teaching me when, how and why to fight.                 You will guide me through life’s dark jungles into the soft glow of peaceful eternity.        You will keep me in the game, guiding me to the source of the bright white light.

 

 

 

 

[1] Schwartz, Gary, E; Simon, William L. The Energy Healing Experiments. Atria Books, New Your; 2007.

[2] Page 149

Self-Awareness and Mental Health

Published on by Bi-Ed: Bisexual EducationLeave a comment

logo_2Several responses to my blogs seek to inform me that my message “is not their experience” with bisexuality. Of course not, we are all unique in our sexual and gender experiences. Mine was tainted, or should I say, “guided”, by my mental disorders. I can now understand that my disorders were a gift that urged me on to finally get to know and be true to my “Self”, not my ego-self, but my inner-self, or soul-self, or just plain Self with a capital “S”.

There appear to be two types (sorry, generalizing again) of bisexual people, those who struggle with their sexual identity and those who just seem to feel free and easy to float from one sexual experience to another. However, we are all on the same journey, including all members of the LGBT community, and all heterosexuals. We are here to grow into sentient, compassionate people, and I believe that means to grow the eternal part of our being – our soul. The soul is the place of inner-healing but it is also the center of our being and our power source into the realm of the miracle of living a full and complete life. To do that we have to first become aware that we are more than our mind, which is the ego-self, and become aware of our inner or spiritual Self.

The first step in awakening the Self is to find a way to enter into that inner space in the soul. The only way to do that is to seek a place of quiet, wait until our mind ceases its striving, and then just settle into the beauty of the moment. Once in this peaceful state, surrounded by beauty, a miraculous condition known as mindfulness can occur. In my view, mindfulness begins with mindlessness; it can only occur when the rational ego part of the mind is at rest. I believe our soul now takes over and re-calibrates the brain so that it can absorb all the information coming from all the senses. In my experience, the key is to not process this information, but to just let it flow. The spirit-filled mind now seems to integrate all these sensations with past and present feelings. The mind now appears to function in unison with the soul and absorbs the truths of life from a spiritual sense. I believe this is the field of genius where all thoughts come together, that aha moment where profound scientific discoveries are made. This is the zone where creativity is at its fullest and the words just flow onto the page, or the images emerge out of the white of the canvas. I feel that this is the point where we become mindful of the totality of the physical and spiritual world around us.

My first moment of mindfulness and awareness occurred during my darkest moments after my divorce, exploring the miles of nature trails around my country home. As I continued to let my body and my bulldog take me into the beauty of the day, I began to understand the needs and desires of my soul. I realized there was a lot more to life than serving my family and humanity. It was time to get to know and be true to my Self. So I took an early retirement which left me with half of one small pension. When I realized it was not enough to pay my bills, I left behind the ruins of my troubled past, sold or gave away everything I owned, and headed for the volcanic mountains of Costa Rica where I could thrive financially, mentally, and spiritually. Nestled in my mountain village, surrounded by the simplicity and unconditional acceptance of the Costa Ricans, I was free to enter into the mysteries of awareness.

I spent hours each day on my front patio beside the bubbling river letting my soul guide me into a state of mindfulness. In the process of meditation I became more and more aware of the living things around me. I believe that there is a state of being where we become aware that we are aware. It is during this state of awareness that we see our Self interacting with the plants and animals around us. We experience the Self as something beyond the limits of the ego-self. We begin to realize that we are powerful spiritual beings capable of experiencing and influencing the world around us. As we become more and more aware of our Self, we begin to see the infinite possibilities of life, and we can begin the process of deep inner healing.

There can be no sexual identification or gender healing without reaching into the soul, and the only way to reach into the soul is through awareness. Once we are aware, we can leave behind the days and ways of mental issues and begin the journey towards mental health and mental thriving. In other words, we use the power of the soul to heal the ego-mind.

Bisexuality – Finding Mental Health

Published on by Bi-Ed: Bisexual EducationLeave a comment

Two weeks ago we looked at mental health for bisexuals through statistics, and of course, it was a downer. The statistics for depression and suicide and attempted suicide are staggering. As much as we put on the brave face, and tell the world the glories of bisexuality, there is another part of our community (and truthfully, a part of ourselves) that remains confused and ready to wallow in the old pain body at the next trigger. So what can we do about it? Lots. In the next series of blogs I am going to deal with Real Mental Health, the keys to maintaining and even thriving in spite of life’s ups and downs. Today we will start with my story.

After coming out to my wife and my subsequent divorce in a marriage that had held me together for thirty-three years, I was suicidal. I admitted myself to an eighteen week, five days a week, five hours a day program at the Mental Health Ward at the University of Alberta, Edmonton. I was diagnosed with Acute Generalized Anxiety, Clinical Depression, Avoidance Personality Disorder, and Borderline Personality Disorder with Sexual Identity Disorder. With therapy and heavy medication, I was able I get my “act” together and return to work as a psychologist for the next two years. I had new mental strategies and a functioning chemically-balanced brain, but nothing inside my mind or my soul had been healed.

I collapsed into a second bout of generalized anxiety and clinical depression, I was suicidal again. During my darkest days, that voice inside me urged me to remember the miracles of the past and believe that I was worthy of one more. I had witnessed and experienced happenings in my life which had no physical or human-brain-power explanations. When my dear French Canadian grandmother was on her death bed dying of cancer, the family gathered together for her last Christmas. She asked to be propped up on pillows in the living room so she could be a part of the gathering. When she heard the fiddle music of her French soul, she got up, and with one hand on the table, she danced the jig. When the song ended, she collapsed on the floor. They put her back in her bed and she never got up again. Like my grandmother, I decided to dance just one more time.

I gave up looking for answers through my mind and just tried to survive the best I could. In the process of avoiding the pain of my mind and soul, I created a time and space vacuum that needed to be filled. I sold or gave away everything I had except what would fit into two suitcases, took an early retirement, and headed for a mountain village in Costa Rica. For the next two years, I searched for moments where I could shut down my mind and just experience peace and contentment. These moments led to a sense of awareness of the beauty surrounding me that was available through my senses. I was able to find inner peace and gradually took myself off all medications. And then, the greatest miracle of all happened; I was able to get in touch with my inner spirit, the “I”, that part of “me” that is aware, conscious and eternal. With the help of a rejuvenated spirit, I was ready to start the healing process of my soul which has stretched on over the past twelve years.

I believe the natural state of man is the Self (or the soul), whole and complete. In my view, the trial of living, especially in our western world, and especially if we are bisexual, fragments us and destroys the harmony of the Self. I believe that living in the spirit is the key to restoring this harmony which can in turn lead to true mental health. I have come to the conclusion that there is a definite, powerful, spiritual energy which is available to all of us, that comes through the heart in the form of feelings. These feelings can guide and empower our thoughts and our actions. Therefore, the focus for healing and maintaining mental health, must be is on these feelings, not the twisted neural pathways of the mind.

In my bisexual journey, I have explored and tried various spiritual practices. For the most part, I have found them to be useful sources of imagery to assist my soul in visualizing the amazing spiritual world in which I live. I have attempted to narrow down my spiritual beliefs and visualization practices to those that have been tested and found true consistently throughout the trials of my life. Next week we will roll up our sleeves and get down to business.

Dance with Death

And having given all, having left nothing in the arena,
I stand exhausted, panting for breath,
Waiting for my heart to stop,
Letting my struggling mind slip into unconsciousness,
Releasing my tortured soul to give up its will to survive.

Having only the desire to raise the sword one last time,
I reject the rhythm of the unknown drummer;
I reject the solitude and the silence of the dark;
I refuse to close my mind to its fear and striving;
I refuse to seal up my soul and run away and hide.
I choose to dance the dance of my own soul;
I choose to let my feet flow
With the rhythm of my own music.

The dance comes on the wings of violence.
It begins with the girding up of loins,
By taking up the sword of truth,
By facing the monsters of the mind,
Matching blow for blow, breath for breath,
Smashing disillusionment, laughing at Fear,
Meeting Self-Hatred with righteous anger,
Disarming the Black Knight of Nothingness.

Then the dance seeks its own rhythm.
There, in the moment of defeat and surrender,
I dance, and I dance, and I dance
To the rhythm of the beating of my heart.
There, in the moment of defeat and surrender,
I dance, and I dance, and I dance,
Moving my feet to the eternal beat,
That guides my soul along the golden path of life.

The whole story can be purchased at: http://www.friesenpress.com/bookstore/title/119734000021128517/Lawrence-J.W.-Cooper-Bi

Bisexuality – the Search for Sanity

Published on by Bi-Ed: Bisexual EducationLeave a comment

logo_2I know that within the LBGT community everyone is an individual, everyone has different experiences and brings a different biological and physical make up to the experience of life.  But we do have one thing in common.  We experience a huge buildup of anxieties that lead to profoundly more mental issues and suicides than the “normal” population. Why is this happening?  Let me give you a different take on this.  It happens because we want it to happen.  We attract it because we need it.  It is a tool to be used to heal. It is the doorway to understanding life. It is the portal to ecstasy.

One of the defining characteristics of every gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender person that I have ever interviewed is a state of profound confusion experienced at some time in their life.  This state is most persistent in the bisexual community (misnomer- most of us are not part of a community – we choose isolation instead of community). But let’s take a closer look at confusion.  Confusion is not a bad thing.  It is a good thing.  It is an experience common to all mankind.  On one hand, it is the experience that causes us to run to the shelter of a religion, a philosophy, or some kind of “group think”, so that we can bring some kind of order to the chaos. But for us bisexuals, we cannot find solutions through these typical short cuts to sanity.

Because it is not that easy to run away from our particular form of confusion and anxiety, we are forced to stay in our own version of chaos.  But that is not a bad thing.  It is a good thing.  We are compelled to dig deeper to find some meaning to take away the anxiety, to find a pattern, to find a purpose, to remain sane.  Some never do and they lose it or give up and exit.  This is very sad because if they had just stayed in the game a little longer, they might have found that there are no solutions, and if they would have persevered, they may have come to the point that they could accept that confusion was okay.

in fact, confusion is more than okay; it is the only reality.  When we accept the confusion, and we accept the chaos, and we accept ourselves just as we are, life becomes quite simple.  No pretense.  No religious short cuts. No need for philosophy.  No need for labels.  No need to hide behind the security of the word “bisexual”. No need to seek out the comforts of a group. We just are and we are okay.  We are more than okay.  We are one with the chaos. We are one with the beautiful pattern of random abstract.  We are free to pursue the pleasure of our senses for the sake of pleasure. We are free to explore all our sexual desires.  We are open to the infinite possibilities of this amazing universe.  We are open to experiencing the ecstasy of being one with chaos.

You see, we were not insane after all.  We were just searching for the answer to the ultimate question – what is the purpose of life?  And some of us have found the answer.  There is no purpose.  There is only life with its infinite possibilities to be experienced through the eternity of the ever present moment.

Bisexuality – A Shamanic Dance

Published on by Bi-Ed: Bisexual EducationLeave a comment

cropped-logo_2.pngI keep talking about consciousness and trying to create or perhaps fabricate a connection of consciousness to sex and bisexuality.  Does this connection really exist?  I am not sure, but I have a “feeling” that it does, and “feelings” truly are the door to consciousness.

Consciousness is not going blank and staring at a flower, it is experiencing the essence of the flower through the miracle of our spirit.  It is not about mind, or thinking, or imagining, or even sensing; it is about sharing “being”, sharing the essence of life with another living thing. How much more powerful then must it be to share connection, not with a flower, but with a man or a woman.  I believe that sex is one of those portals where we have an opportunity to ride the sensations of the body into a state of conscious bliss where we experience each other’s essence in a truly sensuous, mindless way.  And moreover, I believe that bisexuality gives us an opportunity to experience this bliss from two different sides, each of which has the potential to create and to enter into a state of conscious ecstasy.  Bisexuality is not a curse, it is a double portal into the spiritual.

The key then is to understand sexuality as a part of our divine nature. I have recently run across a website by Terence McKenna that contains some remarkable snapshots into consciousness and (which I apply to) sexuality:

“Nature loves courage. You make the commitment and nature will respond to that commitment by removing impossible obstacles. Dream the impossible dream and the world will not grind you under, it will lift you up. This is the trick. This is what all these teachers and philosophers who really counted, who really touched the alchemical gold, this is what they understood. This is the shamanic dance in the waterfall. This is how magic is done. By hurling yourself into the abyss and discovering its a feather bed.”[1]

You see, good sex is that shamanic dance in the waterfall.  It is that powerful surge of emotion, feeling, and all the physical and spiritual energy that goes with it. It is the magic that gives us an opportunity to escape the world of patterns and enter into the chaotic abyss for a few precious moments. And then the magic happens. As we leave the world of our mind, the restrictions or our culture, and our desire to seek the comfort of patterns, we land on the feather bed with another human being.

And this one:

“I think of going to the grave without having a psychedelic experience  (is) like going to the grave without ever having sex. It means that you never figured out what it is all about. The mystery is in the body and the way the body works itself into nature.”

You see, the mystery of the body is that we do not enter into nature through our mind or even mindless consciousness but through the sensations of the body.  And the sensations involved with sex are 1000 times more powerful than any other sensation we are likely to experience.  In addition, the beauty of sex is that we enter into nature in the embrace of another through whom we experience the combined rhythm that produces a harmony and  a resonance that slips into the timeless rhythm of nature, reproduction and life.

And this one:

“You are a divine being. You matter, you count. You come from realms of unimaginable power and light, and you will return to those realms.”

You see, once we arrive in this altered state, we can begin to share not only on the body level, but in the glow, the harmony, the sharing of soul, and even perhaps the sharing of spirit.  When we do this, we experience a powerful healing flow mentally and physically as well as spiritually.  This is the source of passion that gives us the male power to conquer the world and the female sensitivity to enjoy it.

So what does this have to do with bisexuality?  Everything.  Three of four bisexual men (previous blog) have their primary sexual orientation towards other men.  This is the primary power source.  This is where the feelings and sensations are at their height.  It becomes a power surge that can carry us into ecstasy.  On the other hand, when we are connected to women, we enter into a different kind of rhythm, a slower quieter beat where there is no urgency, where we can linger and glow, prune and build neural pathways, and form a different kind of harmony that is longer lasting and more centered on relationship building.  This allows us to carry the experience of the bedroom into the world around us, providing us with peace and contentment and harmony.

Bisexuality then is a gift, a portal into two sides of consciousness, the world of passion and the world of harmony. Let go. Leave all your care and even your thoughts behind and join in the shamanic dance beneath the waterfall.

 

[1] http://in5d.com/73-terence-mckenna-quotes/

New Year’s Resolutions

Published on by Bi-Ed: Bisexual EducationLeave a comment

logo_2Happy New Year.  Make no mistake.  Do not doubt.  IT WILL BE A HAPPY NEW YEAR. Shout it out. Believe it.  Every time you feel the negative side of your ego pulling you down, go into your closet, lock the door, and shout this out with all the energy you can muster:

THIS IS MY LIFE.  I AM A POWERFUL SPIRITUAL BEING. I AM IN CONTROL.  I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY.

For the past two years I have set my Self (my Self deserves a capital S) three goals – one for personal growth, one for my relationship with my dearly Beloved, and one for writing.  But I do not just make New Year’s resolutions; I form intent and I dedicate the energy of my mind and soul to the process of making my goals become real.  In other words, I create my own miracles.

The first step is to analyse where I have come from, where I am now, and where I want to be.  I take this very seriously.  I review every success, I record it in my success book, and I celebrate these achievements by patting myself on the back, letting my own self-praise soak into my ego, reaffirming it as a partner in my spiritual growth.  You see, my ego is not the bad boy in my soul, it is my decision making center and it contains the energy power of my mind to set a course so that good things can happen.

The second step is to form intent. This is not a wishy-washy sort of hope; it is a process whereby I combine the mind energy from my ego with the soul energy from my heart.  And somewhere in the mix a miracle happens.  The goal becomes real, it actualizes, and the miracle begins to happen.  It starts slowly like an embryo in the first month, but as the months pass it takes shape and grows.  But it has to have a beginning, a spiritual birth based on the marriage of ego-mind and heart-soul. And how does this happen?  I make it happen.  I will it into reality.  I infuse it with the spiritual power of my being.

Next, I review and renew my intent on a daily basis.  I spend ten minutes each day just meditating, restoring my soul energy and focusing it on my own personal health and well-being in a global way, just breathing easily and renewing my connection with the source of universal energy.  By doing this I enter into the infinite source of love-power, that positive energy that can make miracles happen.  I then review my goals, note and celebrate my progress and decide what I can do today to make my love child grow. If I have had a setback, I give my Self permission to fail and have a bad day thereby removing the negative energy so that it cannot accumulate and destroy. I then reform my mind-heart intent thereby restoring the positive energy so that my energies can be applied to grow my miracles.

Believe me, it can happen.  I have had absolute miracles in my life in the past two years and I expect another set of miracles for the New Year and I plan to conceive them today. Join me.

Happy New Year